This is the first blog on this new site, which is like navigating through a maze of treacle wearing a blindfold. The transition from “old” site to “new” site has been done and the website man, Ian, is slowly handing the controls over to me, so I can bollocks it all up and break it. Awesome.
The control panel i’m looking at now is like something from NASA and is giving me an uncontrollable urge to press stuff and see what happens.
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Ha! I made that circle…i pressed buttons and it asked me what word to use, so I reverted to type with the mindset of a child and used arse.
Dear prospective literary agents,
I am a serious writer who crafts literary masterpieces that will stand the test of time. My craft is my sole reason for being. My prose and narrative are the fundamental basics of my existence. My grammar is perfect, as is my spelling, construct and pace. However, I am filled with an increasing sense of despondency that I will not be taken seriously by the industry.
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Indeed, it presses upon my person that by creating The Undead series, I have in fact, reflected society upon itself. The humanity of life, the lack of moral fortitude within our society and the questioning of values. I would say that my work is far beyond that of a mere zombie story, but is a foretelling of how human-kind shall evolve and these works should be used as study materials within schools and colleges.
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So in summation of a conclusion and er…the end bit, I would hasten to add that you (being the serious literary agent) should give me (the genius but poor writer) lots of money so my books are on bookshelves in Tesco where they can be thrown at the zombies when the zombie event happens…which it will…and thereby bring joy and happiness to everyone as they read about Howie and Dave killing shit loads of zombie’s (ha I even put a naughty apostrophe in there…yeah…that’s a badass apostrophe that is like, really rebellious and just jump’s in when it want’s to…)
Ian the webbie is gonna go nuts at me filling this space up with inane graphics, he’ll be all like “don’t slow the site down with stupid shit” while he reads the new edition of Which Computing Monthly…mwa ha ha ha
The Second Reality is released. I have made no secret that I needed a break from Howie and Co for a little while. A million words is a lot and I kept thinking about the scenario of what would happen if someone predicted the zombie event now. Obviously they’d be locked up and injected with heap big drugs. But what if they were right? And so, the chain of thought started which eventually led me to the story as it is now. There is a plan in place for this series, something that has not been done before (as far as I know). But, i’ll have to wait and see how the book is received before I decide on the next course of action. You might all hate it, certainly there are some points that may get me some flak due to the extreme nature but we’ll see. I’m hunkered down ready to hide in my writing cave should everyone start throwing rotten fruit and rocks at me.
The book is self-edited, so again any mistakes are entirely my own, and if I have missed loads then I can only apologise.
But…a habit is formed now and I can’t release a book without doing a competition, that wouldn’t be right, nope, not at all. So…for a chance to win a signed paperback copy of The Second Reality…that is not only signed by me, but hopefully signed by Eddy the Artist too…which means me sending a book to Spain, him signing it then sending it back…which also means the prize winning book will be well travelled and possibly with some postage dents….And Eddy has offered to throw in a free sketch too, not sure what the sketch will be yet, maybe a vase of flowers? Artists like drawing vases of flowers and fruit don’t they? Dunno…maybe he can do something in connection with the cover? Maybe I should have asked him and worked it all out before I did this blog post.
I’m an indie writer that needs reviews. But more importantly, by researching this book it made me realise just how widespread mental health actually is, and also that it sill carries a huge amount of stigma. That should change, it has to change. I read that Mental Health affects something like one in three people, but that’s wrong. Mental Health affects everyone. It is the state of the mind, the health of the mind, everyone has a mind so therefore, everyone, at some point, will have adverse Mental Health. It is a small title for a mammoth array of illnesses and conditions. Please do take a look at the MIND website, they have a wealth of information and advice. http://www.mind.org.uk/
There is a campaign running now, through MIND, called Time to Change, which is about ending the stigma associated with Mental Health.
So, the competition for the release will be for ANY review of The Second Reality on amazon.co.uk that contains the following line: “MIND. It’s Time to Change.” One star, two star….glowing five star, whatever you think of the book, slate it, hate it, hate me and every word I have written but add that line and you could get a signed copy (which you can then burn in your garden)(BUT…leave me a four or five star review and i’ll chuck in a signed copy of The First Seven Days too!)
That’s it. You can use it as a header. A separate sentence. A title, whatever you want or however you want. I’m not a preachy person by any degree but I did a hell of a lot of research into Mental Health for Michael and Charlotte and as I said, it opened my eyes, and there is a personal connection too – but that’s a story for another day.
I’ll give it a month or so and draw the review names from the woolly dog walking hat.
I hope you enjoy the book, I really do. Truth be told, I am shitting myself waiting for the reviews but that goes without saying for any writer.
Day Fifteen is next and i’ll keep you posted on it as I go along.