Amazon, Wall Street Journal & Washington Post Best-selling Author

R R Haywood

Written by R R Haywood, March 21st, 2018

Posted in Blog | Currently 8 Comments

A simple act of kindness…

I had a minor surgical thing done today. It was really minor too. But I’ve got a phobia about being poked, prodded, touched or examined by doctors. (I was once given a general anaesthetic for an operation and decided halfway through it being given that it was time to leave the hospital. Cue my naked arse poking out of the medical gown while trying to flee with a needle stuck in my hand.)

Anywho, so today I had to lie on this medical bed with a super bright light glaring on my face while a doctor in a mask leaned over me… and I started to get twitchy, you know, like really uncomfortable. The fear was kicking in. Irrational and silly fear, but real to me. The doctor was too close. The lights were too bright and I had to stay very still while needles were pushed in and local anaesthetic was injected. I started swallowing and breathing harder. Tensing up and thinking maybe it was time to leave. It’s weird when that happens as I lose the ability to verbalise my fears and just go very quiet with wide eyes and a clenched jaw, and just at the point when I was ready to bug out, the nurse stepped in my eye-line and held her hand out for me to take while smiling gently.

That was it. Just that. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. She just smiled and took my hand and that single act of kindness was incredible.

I know it’s daft. I’m a grown man, but I was scared you see, and another person took that fear away. It’s like energy I guess. I had bad energy fizzing inside that had no place to go, and I started to feel trapped, but that gentle touch allowed that bad energy to flow out and away.

Does that make sense?

Ah, that doesn’t make sense. I know what I mean.

Sod off, I was a super-brave-soldierman and stayed very still after that.

It’s those acts of kindness that remind me of how good people can be, and how sometimes a simple gesture like a look, or a soft word, or even a touch on the arm can make all the difference. The world about us can be a harsh place sometimes. The winter we’ve had has been bitter and long, and every time we turn the news on we’re being told awful, terrible things are happening. Listening to bad politicians saying bad things and everyone seems to have such strong opinions at the moment too. Trump. Russia. Guns. Crime. Trump. Russia. Guns. Crime. It’s relentless arse-froth is what it is. It’s unkind. I’ve had bad experiences lately too, with people I thought were good friends. We all go through bad times and it’s hard not to let them get you down. That’s normal. It’s living a life.

But then a nice nurse gave me a smile and held my hand and my world, right then at that moment, was just fine.

I guess the point is, don’t underestimate how impactive a simple act of kindness can be. Smile at your neighbour or the dude passing you on the street. Give way at the junction. Step back in the queue. Tell the truth and be kind about it. Pass a compliment. Say thank you at the check-out and look at the cashier when you say it.

Small things. Simple things. I think it’s worth it.

That nice nurse will never read this, and when I said thank you as I left I felt a bit ashamed and silly and kept my head down. ‘It’s fine,’ she said. ‘Anytime.’

Yeah, we need more of that. We definitely need more of that.


Take care

RR Haywood

8 thoughts on “A simple act of kindness…

  1. Your honesty is refreshing and having someone there who could identify the anxiety you were feeling was a blessing in disguise. The next time those feelings start to surface remember the touch of her hand and the look in her eye. Maybe she was a guardian angel. Hope your recovery is smooth. Take care x

  2. Kindness is greatly underrated as a form of connection – no language, money, grand gesture or audience is needed to be kind. Just a connection and a desire to show someone, just for a moment, that they are valued – somebody cares. <3

  3. I really loved your extracted series. Have been waiting patiently for number 3. Your narrator for the series is incredible. His voice , intonation, etc got me into audible. He really makes the characters come alive. Fantastic. Question: when is the audible coming out? Ive waited this long i can wait a little longer. Absolutely awesome. I cant say enough superb.
    Thank you,
    Sincerely, Dan

  4. People don’t realise that it is the small things that can make a huge difference to others. Even just a smile. I read about a young man suffering from depression who threw himself off the Golden Gate Bridge. After he did this, a note was found in his apartment saying that if just one person smiled he would not jump. Just a smile could have saved that man’s life and how hard is that to give?

  5. I feel daft because you are to me RR and although I could search your name I prefer you to be in my beloved author zone as RR.
    You have been for me the nurse holding my hand and offering a space to be that is alternate. Your Undead series has offered many things escape, philosophical quandries, direct challenge to the binary options of good and bad, considerations about where and what I’m going to do in the event of a zombie situation (obviously non-disclosable), and made zombies attacking uncontrolled splutter out loud laughing funny.
    Your theme of team coherence and shared mood is so wonderfully portrayed.
    Whilst looking for the next Undead release date I saw a post from you asking when it is time to end the series. I want to let you know I stopped breathing for about 10 seconds. I came to you late doors and had the joy of being able to gobble about 18 books. After that I had to wait for each installment. I hope all your readers have got in touch to say ‘not yet!’I have never written to an author before. I loved Terry P and he is dead. You are here and I sensed questioning youself. I want to walk the Undead journey with you. There is so much more to come. I’ve been bitten and will follow.

    1. What she said… this reply is everything I would say to you Boss, if I was as good with words as Debbie B. I started reading The Undead when Day 22 was already out so didn’t have to wait, except for the next one, the same as everyone else. I too have been bitten and want more!

  6. I have now read all the books in the undead series and feel bereft, I need my pack back, Meredith (Bear), Jess, Howie, Clarence, Dave, Cookey, Nick, Tappy, Charlie, Maddox, Lilly …….. do I need to go on? The start of the ‘older’ pack and their mannerisms has just whetted my appetite all I can say is more, more, more, more!

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